“I don’t understand, this is not working for me, I like him but there is something missing. Why? What is wrong with me, why can’t I connect, how is it possible that the sex is not good?”
Pause. Deep breath.
I am not here to teach anyone but to share a feeling that might be familiar to many. More often than not, we ask ourselves why our relationships don’t work. Why do we feel that there is something wrong with us? What is the issue within us if he/she is perfect?
It is not about your significant other. It is always all about you first. I just realized today, while having a conversation with my true, unconditional lover—myself—that there is nothing wrong with me. However, there might be something that we need to solve or take care of. Once I accepted that it is always “me” first, before anyone else, I understood that I have to start investing in myself if I truly want to be happy.
It is hard to admit to ourselves that there is nothing wrong with us yet we need to take into account that we might need some time for ourselves. Some time to pause, sit and breathe, because the time is ours. Seems easy but sitting in silence with yourself can be really hard. It is easier to talk about our problems and why our relationships are not fulfilling us. I invite you all to write a list of ten things you love about yourself and then ask: Would I fall in love with myself?
We sometimes worry too much by trying to make everyone else happy, trying to figure it all out—why is the sex with our partners not fulfilling, why don’t they understand us? Well, do you understand yourself? We are too busy trying to occupy ourselves with activities, friends, sex, parties, materialistic goals etc. that we lose sight of what’s important, and become lost. Lost and miserable. The good news is that we are the only ones with the key to find the way out and finally find our happy endings.
“I believe it is about accepting, finding and loving ourselves first. There is nothing wrong with us, we just need to realize that love starts within us and when we are ready, true love will find us.”